New Year, Tired Me

On leaning into doing less

This is the fourth draft I’ve started this morning, and the only one I’ll finish today.

The others, languishing in my drafts folder for the foreseeable, are about:

• finally leaving Instagram because of The Last Straw that happened this week (it’s probably not what you think)

• how spiritual growth is something we have to let happen to us rather than something we can make happen

• and how, in my old age¹, I’ve given up on “finding my calling” in favour of following my curiosity, finding my True Self, and just showing up as Her in the world

I’ll revisit all of them, but I only had the headspace for starting them rather than finishing them. The headspace I do have today is for lists, which is why this newsletter has two.

I’m not really a “New Year, New Me” person, and I’ve spoken to a few friends in the last week who’ve said the same thing. My friend Tarley said the other day that she’s a “New year, winter pause” person; she said she likes to hibernate in January and use the down time to check in with herself, so that she’s ready for Spring. I resonated with that. January does feel significant, but not because I’m trying to beast anything or Go Big or Go Home. It’s gentler than that: the natural world is resting, and I’m part of the natural world, so I like to rest, too. But in that space, my head is dancing with dreams and thoughts and ideas. The trees have lost all their leaves, and similarly, I’m thinking about what I can clear away to make room for what matters in the year ahead.

Here are some things I’m dreaming of - not bossing, not hustling. Just questions I’m rolling around, sitting with, breathing through:

1. What is Porchlight really about? A few years ago, I wrote through taking my old belief system apart. It was cathartic to be honest and to speak when I’d been told that speaking up was detrimental for so long, and I made a lot of friends through a shared experience. But I’ve settled into myself now, I don’t really feel pulled to add to the noise of people yelling about the hypocrisy of the evangelical church². The description of Porchlight here on Substack says that it’s “mostly about how our humanity and our spirituality are the same thing”, and I still think that’s a pretty good description, because I kind of believe that the more we inhabit the fullness of our humanity, the closer we are to having a “spiritual” experience.

2. How can I re-create Sanctuary³ to meet this moment, in this place, with this new version of myself? Also? How I can make it available to a broader group of people.

3. What does my copywriting and brand strategy work look like this year? I’m still contracting with a couple of brilliant branding agencies, as well as taking on a couple of my own direct clients. Last year, I developed brand messaging for: a nail product line, a Pilates studio, two upscale restaurants, a kids’ travel product line, and an arcade bar.

4. And always: what does my family need right now? There are days I forget that we just moved countries and then survived a natural disaster.⁴ On days my 14- and 11-year-olds are feeling down or overwhelmed, I have to step back and remember that, on top of the fact that this age is a lot, they are also still navigating a couple of things some kids never, ever have to face.

   In positive news: we’re thinking about getting a dog (after being begged by my 11-year-old for three years and missing several self-imposed deadlines. We are terrible parents.)

Are you a New Year, New Me person, or a New Year, Winter Pause person? All kinds accepted, but I’d love to hear what drives you to approach January the way you do.

xx

Faith

1. I’m old in spirit only.

2. I’m not saying it’s not necessary - I’m just saying that right now, it’s not where my energy is.

3. The retreat I created and have been hosting in England and the US since 2019. You can read about the last one here.

4. Literally laughing about it right now. So insane.