Into It | Vol. 7

Parenting teens, deleting apps, and dipping my toe into faerie fiction

Thank you so much to all of you for being here, for opening my emails when they arrive in your inbox, for reading my words. Thank you to those of you who take the time to press the little heart button at the bottom of my posts, to remind me that I’m not writing into a void but to real human people. Thank you to those of you who go a step further and write a comment to tell me how what I’ve written affects you. Thank you for hitting reply on my email and sending an actual email to my actual inbox - these bring me so much joy and make me feel more human.

And thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have returned the energy I put into writing Porchlight with financial energy, by becoming paid subscribers and honouring my time and emotional work. I’m so grateful.

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Now, onto what I’m into at the moment:

Eating this:

Last week, my 11-year-old made the best lemon drizzle cake I’ve ever tasted. Not exaggerating (PS - have you ever made a lemon drizzle cake? It’s a great go-to because it’s so easy and so delicious!). He used this recipe, which is the one I always use, but somehow managed to make it better than I’ve ever made it. So moist¹! So delicious.

My loaf pan was recently ruined by someone who shall remain nameless, who used it to smoke meat in the barbecue, so we used a bundt pan instead - baking for 35 minutes instead of 45 because the bigger pan meant a thinner cake.

Good luck and Godspeed. I hope yours comes out as well as Koa’s did.

Reading this:

I am insatiable right now. I finished Funny Story, then re-read Beach Read, then re-read Funny Story², then started Groundskeeping, then took a break from Groundskeeping and read A Court of Thorns and Roses, then started Groundskeeping again and am already slightly panicked knowing I don’t have something lined up to start as soon as I finish it.

Thinking of ordering A Court of Mist and Fury or maybe All the Dangerous Things by Stacy Willingham. My big sister knows her and I loved her first thriller, A Flicker in the Dark.

Moving like:

I tried a barre class for the first time last week and it was hard. I’m a yoga teacher and an occasional runner and I weight train three times a week, so I always find it interesting when I try something new and find it so challenging. I’ve been humbled so many times in the past by thinking I was fit until trying a new movement technique, but I still love finding new ways to move my body.

Deleting apps:

Instagram has been uninstalled from my phone 90% of the time over the last three months. Occasionally I put it back on to send a message, and then I’m on there for a few days before I start to feel really weird about it again - I notice it’s sucking my time again, or I post something and feel like I don’t really know what to do on there anymore. It’s a weird feeling, since there were several years when it was my main mode of communicating with you guys, posting my poetry, writing poetic captions…

I was about to launch into a longer tirade about this but I’m going to write a dedicated post instead, because I have thoughts.

On parenting teens and tweens

When my boys were toddlers, a lady at my church who had three teenagers told me not to listen to people moan about parenting teenagers. “I love my teenagers,” she said. “They’re so much fun - don’t believe all the bad press.”

I made a decision at that point that I would never dread my boys’ teenaged years, and I truly never have. Every parenting phase has its beautiful and terrible moments; every phase has its new rewards, and its new challenges. When they were tiny, I was physically exhausted but overwhelmed by their cuteness and their intense, unconditional love for me.

I’m less tired now: they sleep a lot, and so I get to sleep a lot. Sometimes, yes, they’re hormonal and grumpy and they get mad at me for stupid reasons like asking them to wash up their own cup when they want a drink, but oh my gosh, they are wonderful, funny, kind, truly exceptional people. I am loving getting to know them as human beings with opinions and preferences and deep thoughts that have nothing to do with me.

And sure, we’ll definitely find new challenges and hard things as they travel further into teenager territory, but I’m still choosing not to dread it. They’ve been gorgeous human beings since the moment they entered the world, and I don’t have any reason to believe they won’t continue to be gorgeous human beings.

Besides, I really am convinced that so many of our weird attitudes toward teenagers are because we - the adults - are suddenly out of our depth and are having to learn and stretch and think on our feet. The kids are just doing what kids do - learning how to be people. And the kids really are alright.

xx

Faith

1. I obviously hate this word so you know I mean it.

2. I never do this. This is the first time ever, in my life, that I have re-read a book, and I did it twice in a week.